Life Gets Interesting If We Stop Drinking
Does life get boring without alcohol?
Sometimes we about cutting down or quitting alcohol. At that point, we realize that this “habit” might be more of an addiction; because we could go 2-4 nights without drinking; but there would constantly be a nagging urge to drink at night. By Friday, we would be using the excuse that “It’s Friday night - you need to celebrate!” to drink a ton of booze and would continue binge drinking during the rest of the weekend. This cycle keeps repeating itself.
At first, when we are trying to stay off of alcohol, it can feel boring without alcohol; really reserved and quiet. We may have some hobbies - but they all could be introverted hobbies, like reading, swimming or playing tennis. When we are sober, we don’t feel like doing anything; especially - towards the evenings and at nights. We can try to do random shit for a few hours and then try to force ourselves to not think about alcohol and go to sleep. It could seem like board games, indoor and outdoor games (like corn hole), watching movies, going out, and other activities lack the same pizzazz they somehow have when we were drinking.
Is that normal? Does that boring feeling ever go away?
Are the people around you or people that you know, the ones that do not drink, are they boring? Are they happy? They are happy. How come, boring seems to work so well for so many people?
There are all kinds of amazing people out there. Don’t get sucked in to American media/culture/advertising that say the American life has to be that way. Lots of options and possibilities out there for you. A good book to read is “Choose Yourself” by James Altucher.
We were all young once. When I drink, I wish I could stop at just a couple of beers and only on the weekends, but I can’t. It doesn’t work like that for me anymore, plus my body can’t handle it. It’s time for us drunkards to grow up, and to do that we have to stay sober. Find other ways to derive enjoyment and excitement out of life. Take that money you would have spent on alcohol and put it towards a sport, or a hobby, or concerts etc.
Because you are continuing to drink and mess with your brain’s reward center, it has difficulty associating pleasure with anything else.
We have to challenge our (incorrect) assumptions. Sober does not equate to boring. In fact, life can get a lot more interesting sober. Sitting on the couch with a glass in my hand for hours at night is ridiculously boring.
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant that sharply effects one’s enjoyment, perceptions, judgement, performance, emotional life, etc. It is indeed normal that a newly sober life would lack the same “pizazz” as a previously constantly drunk life as the brain of the individual is now adjusting to normal levels of dopamine. This adjustment takes time, effort and an ongoing commitment to allow to pass. It does pass, though.
There’s nothing at all wrong with doing random shit and then going to sleep early if that allows us to get another day sober. The top priority is to not drink today, and to take good care of yourself in whatever manner feels appropriate to you today.
When you first quit from heavy drinking, everything is miserable and a drag. When you first quit. After you work the poison out of your system, it’s amazing. The mood will just start to lift and feel lighter. Physically, we start feeling better - sleeping more normally, have more energy.
We will realize we hadn’t felt so good in years.
Everyone stresses. Just learn no to pour alcohol on top of it. Breaking that association between stress and alcohol requires us to deal with stress, over and over, while sober until that becomes the habit. It’s kinda crazy realizing the root of why you are upset right now instead of instinctively just going for a drink. And having that be the norm. There’s so many underlying issues that you could still be learning to process that you know a drink won’t solve.
Once we stop drinking for a while, after a few weeks or months, it becomes less about the negatives of drinking and more about the positives of Not Drinking. The extra time, money, and ability to drive whenever/wherever the hell we want opens up a lot of new possibilities.
A lot of our lives, more than we realize, had been organized around drinking. We would not go to social events without alcohol. What’s the point, is what Drinksy Brain thought. Doing anything in the evening, especially on the weekend, that didn’t revolve around alcohol? What’s the point?
Driving the motorcycle somewhere to do a cool fun thing? But then I’d have to drive back, meaning I couldn’t drink more than two. What’s the point?
Making awesome plans for Saturday or Sunday morning? But I’ll be hungover. What’s the point?
After quitting, start going to social events, etc. where ALCOHOL MAY NOT EVEN BE PRESENT. Start doing new and interesting stuff on the evenings, and weekends, and weekend mornings. Drive the motorcycle to do them. Go to museums, plays, coffee shops, live music, go for runs, take walks with your family, play tennis, go swimming, read. There is really a ton of stuff to do - stuff you never would have done well under the influence of alcohol.
There are tons of people that don’t drink and have a ton of fun. You can go hiking, biking, get in to all kinds of sports.
Also, there’s stuff to do at home that is not drinking. There are hobbies. Yoga. Puzzles. Knitting. Reading. Other hobbies exist.
We will find more enjoyment in most of the activities that we think are boring because we will have peace of mind and happiness that come with sobriety.
If you’re bored, you’re doing boring things. Do less boring things. Take a class, go to the gym, start playing a sport like tennis or golf, find projects around the house to do… there are so many things you can do that if you’re complaining about being bored, you’re not trying hard enough (if at all).
But all this happens over time after we stop planning our lives around drinking or work. Eventually, we will be like, drinking? What’s the point?!
We will get comfortable with outselves and with boredom. We will get much more comfortable doing nothing. We will be actually okay with our inner monologue. We can sit by ourselves, quiet with our thoughts, and not feel like wanting to crawl out of our skin. We don’t crave distraction like we used to. Before, dealing with boredom was not easy.
Reference
https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1uens8/everything_seems_boring_to_me_without_alcohol/